Love vs. Lust: The Hidden Pitfalls of Modern Relationships

 

Why is there so much divorce in the end for love & arranged marriages?

The physical urge that dominates the feeling of love & romantic attraction in youth has great influence & can push the individual in the wrong direction. Unconsciously the person emphasizes physical beauty & sexual attraction & forgets those most vital qualities that last throughout the years of marriage.

The stray dogs who lose their lives for coming on the street while mating under the blind instinct of physical urge will meet their death in a speeding motor-vehicle.

As sentient beings, human beings too pass through this biological reality. They may not meet death in an automobile but through the reckless following of hormonal impulses they meet the disaster of other kind equally fatal. It's nothing to feel ashamed of as we are animal by nature & that is the nature of nature. But as humans it is necessary that we handle it properly.

Advice on love marriages:

If your intent is to remain married lifelong with someone you cherish, you would do well to defer moving in together & dating only for duration of a minimum two years while making an absolute commitment on physical abstinence till marriage, even on a kiss. And it's not about promises of marriage either. True happiness & peace in marriage cannot be achieved through family interventions or legal coercion, as far as the female is concerned particularly.

Advice on all marriages (love & arranged):

It is crucial to heed the advice of elders & of neutral outsiders because, since they are not emotionally involved, they can judge a situation with detachment. Heed the warnings of your elders if they advise you otherwise on a certain partner as they are correct ninety percent of the time. The human youth are mostly guided by sex hormones & it is very hard for him to tell the difference between a passionate physical longing & a genuine, enduring love that will withstand the trials of marriage and family.

Reality of marriage success:

Emotional love counts for about twenty-five percent of the requirements for a successful marriage; reflect carefully on the other seventy-five percent:

Responsibility

Will the person be capable of bearing the physical, emotional & daily responsibilities of marriage?

Finances

Will the person be able to provide financially for the household?

Shared Values

Religion & customs form a crucial foundation for long-term happiness in marriage. As young people's desires wane, they realize that ideological incompatibility can breed lifelong frustration & resentment.

If one does not want to upset the entire social structure he has been living & believing in since birth, the aforementioned principles should be strictly observed as they are the only way of combating failed marriages, domestic violence & tragedies.

 

This article is by the Author Jeevan Gopalan: 

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