Love vs. Lust: The Hidden Pitfalls of Modern Relationships

 


Why do so many marriages both love-based & arranged ultimately end in divorce?

During our youth, powerful hormonal surges heavily influence how we perceive love & romance. Unwittingly, we often prioritize physical beauty & sexual attraction over the deeper, more enduring factors that are actually crucial for a long-term marriage.

Consider a biological parallel: 

During mating season, stray dogs often lose their lives to passing vehicles, blinded by instinct. As sentient human beings, we experience a similar biological phenomenon. While we may not face vehicular fatalities, the reckless pursuit of hormonal impulses leads us toward different, yet equally devastating, personal disasters. This biological reality is nothing to be ashamed of; we belong to the animal kingdom & this is simply how nature operates. However, as rational beings, we must learn to navigate it.

Guidelines for Love Marriages

If you are aiming for a lifelong commitment with someone you truly care about, it is wisest to avoid moving in together too soon. Spend a minimum of two years dating, but establish a boundary of absolute physical abstinence refraining even from a kiss until after the wedding.

Furthermore, promises of marriage should never be taken lightly. True marital peace & happiness cannot be forced through family intervention or legal ultimatums. Women, in particular, should keep this reality in mind.

Guidelines for All Marriages (Love & Arranged)

It is vital to listen to the insights of elders & objective outsiders. Because they are not emotionally involved, they can evaluate a situation without bias. If they suggest that a partner is wrong for you, take their warnings seriously & reflect deeply. Their assessments are accurate nearly 90% of the time.

During youth, our judgment is heavily clouded by sex hormones, making it incredibly difficult to distinguish between temporary physical infatuation & the genuine, resilient love required to weather life's inevitable storms.

The Reality of Marriage Success

While emotional love is important, it represents only about 25% of what is required to sustain a successful marriage. To evaluate the remaining 75%, you must critically reflect on the following:

Responsibility:

Is your partner genuinely prepared to handle the physical, emotional & day-to-day duties of married life?

 

Financial Stability:

Are they equipped to manage the financial burdens that come with building a household?

 

Cultural Alignment:

Long-term compatibility relies heavily on shared religious beliefs & customs. As youthful sexual desire naturally fades over time, underlying ideological differences will emerge, leading to deep-seated frustration & resentment.

If we choose to ignore these realities, we risk uprooting everything we have built & believed since childhood. Adhering to these foundational principles is the only definitive way to prevent failed marriages, domestic turmoil, and tragic outcomes.

This article is by the Author Jeevan Gopalan: 

Please contribute your useful insights and thoughts/comments. I'll include it in this article, and it will also help me better my writing. This is necessary to motivate me to better my writing.  Also, you must share with others or my efforts would be in vain.

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