Sustaining the Spark: How to Make Your Marriage a Lifelong Honeymoon

 

Thinking a marriage could feel like an endless, beautiful honeymoon probably sounds a bit unrealistic, more like an illusion than an everyday occurrence.

 

When we say something has 'honeymoon-like characteristics,' we're really talking about more than just physical attractions; we're talking about a space shared by only two individuals, where everything else fades & it's your partner that matters the most. In this space, you instinctively disregard all negative attributes & hold onto every positive one, eagerly awaiting future events with an assured feeling that everything is perfect. However, while this level of closeness can exist lifelong, it demands you look beyond the usual notions & explore the deep, authentic relationship dynamics between a man & a woman.

 

The Natural Transition: Partners to Parents

During the initial years of marriage, a woman generally perceives her husband as the center of her universe. A woman is conditioned to feel like the needs of her husband should take top priority; but due to the arrival of children, this relationship dynamic immediately shifts because there's an instinctive biological response. The woman’s attention naturally & fiercely turns to her offspring & their protection. This is all part of life’s divine cycle. It is not a woman's intent to allow the pendulum to swing drastically. However, many women begin to feel like lesser individuals in their home as the stress and intensity of being a mother increases. They become less attentive, stop acknowledging the man, or only view him as a means of financial support.

 

When a wife's communication shifts from playfully engaging to addressing her husband like a student who needs correction (often in a lecturing tone), the bond between husband & wife breaks down. The husband feels neglected & taken for granted.

 

What is it that attracts your husband to you? The invisible threads. To ensure that your marriage retains the magic of its initial glow, you have to actively choose to nurture the same qualities that first captivated your partner as life throws various challenges & demands your way.

 

The Art of Tone & Melody: Soft, Inviting Voice

A warm, inviting & soft tone immediately makes your partner feel welcome & cherished. A tone that is calmly & confidently uttered will always successfully bridge the communication gap & ensure her tone does not take on a shrill quality as a result of frustration or an attempt to gain dominance.

 

Melodious Conversational Cadence:

A falling tone indicates confidence & calm while rising tone shows fear & stress.

 

Confiding Secrets:

Looking intimately at your man while murmuring would create an exclusive spiritual connection between you.

 

Appearance & Cheerful Disposition:

The assertion that a wife is not expected to maintain her appeal to keep true love alive in her marriage is false. Just as a woman expects her husband to groom himself nicely & show concern for his appearance, the woman will be impressed by a husband that takes pride in looking his best. Men are attracted to their partners who are radiant, well-groomed & clean.

 

Lighthearted & Playful:

Nobody wants to share their life with a perpetually complaining spouse. Your humor, your playfulness, your lighthearted mannerism, or a playful teasing is the key components that draw the man towards his wife.

 

Merciful Heart:

The cornerstone of any intellectually stimulating relationship between two individuals is the capability of expressing their thoughts clearly & compassionately, without making the other feel hurt & without escalating every conversation to a full blown argument. A woman’s warmth can pull a man toward her & he will reciprocate the same toward her.

 

The Husband’s Own Battles: Empathy & Reciprocity

A pivotal factor that determines if the honeymoon glow in a marriage lasts forever is the mutual effort & understanding from both parties involved. Husbands work extremely hard, bearing the burden of finances on their shoulders & battling the inner corporate battles that they never bring up. Women who are house wife’s can face a myriad of challenging demands, but they typically have a lot more control over their daily schedules. Men, on the other hand, endure this professional hardship because they know without it; their families may suffer, therefore returning home they are looking for refuge & not an interrogator they need to answer to.

 

A Woman's Guide: How He Must Think & Act

To guarantee your marriage a forever honeymoon, a husband also has to invest genuine effort, taking the set of needs that are prevalent in almost every woman's mind into consideration:

 

Verbal Reassurance:

"Tell me that you love me over & over."

 

Deep Connection:

"When I am struggling with a worry, please don’t just passively listen, nodding along as though what I am saying goes right through you, or as though you haven’t even listened to a single word. Stay there with me; let us have a dialogue where our own life story will unfold."

 

Tenderness & Routine:

"Wake me with a tender & closeness. You would truly know me deeply if you don't forget & don't just dutifully acknowledge my birthday or anniversaries, but if you value my existence enough to cherish those moments with me."

 

Emotional Significance:

"I left the life I knew behind me for you & the man that swept me off my feet was you. I want you to feel that you are the one I come to first & last for every sorrow & every joy & I deserve to be considered equal to your mother or even your sister."

 

Validation:

"Don't belittle my interests when I spend my time watching soap operas or taking culinary classes while you are away at work; after all, it’s how I pass the time when I’m home alone & I find joy & purpose in them. Don't dismiss them; be thankful that I have found a way to entertain myself while I am waiting for you."

 

A United Image: Finances, Children & Chores

The greatest sources of stress for marital relationships, especially if they are not managed properly are finances, shared responsibilities & children.

 

Raising Your Children Correctly

 

WRONG

Disagree with your spouse in front of the children.

 

RIGHT

Back up your spouse when they are in front of the children.

 

Don't Disagree in Front of Your Children:

Never countermand or dismiss your spouse’s command or rule in the presence of the children. The children are highly perceptive & they will surely exploit this weakness to play you against each other. Always communicate these matters privately.

 

Responsible Boundaries:

True love is not limitless indulgence towards your children. Teach them the real restrictions set by your family's finances, customs & lifestyle.

Don't involve your children in any kind of emotional blackmail or used as an argument winning tool towards your partner. They are only growing up & moving out of the house soon, your partner will be the one spending the entire life.

 

Conclusion: Unbreakable Chain

An unending, honeymoon like marriage does not mean there are no hurdles, but it means overcoming every single hurdle together with an unwavering team spirit. You can isolate your marriage from the rest of the negative things outside world & maintain it with the constant consideration of your partner's emotional welfare more than your being right & your commitment to be nice to each other forever.

 

What are your views?

To all ladies out there, what is the single most quality you seek in a husband to make the marriage feel like a perpetual honeymoon?

To all men out there, what small gestures from your wife's side make you feel appreciated the most?

Share your views in the comment section below!

This article is by the Author JeevanGopalan: 

Please contribute your useful insights and thoughts/comments. I'll include it in this article, and it will also help me better my writing. This is necessary to motivate me to better my writing.  Also, you must share with others or my efforts would be in vain.

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